Feminists – are you really being true to yourselves?

I’m aware already that the title of the post is going to cause controversy as I, myself am a female. Quite frankly, I think that extreme feminism is silly. Period.

The definition of ‘feminism’ or the most accurate one I could find was (ironically) on Wikipedia, which states that:

“Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.  This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.”

Notice the word equal is mentioned. So why is it that I’m seeing women claiming they’re feminists left right and centre promoting women to be more superior than men?

I’m aware of the struggles still surrounding women’s rights, and I sympathise with the women of the older generation who were demoralised and dictated by men, it wasn’t fair, and it shouldn’t happen in this modern age let alone in the past.

Despite this, why must you women (I group you and un-name you to avoid being sued) feel that you should have the upper hand over men?

Forgive me if I’m wrong but as a woman, or in my case a young female student – I extremely appreciate the fact that I’m a woman for probably all the wrong reasons.

Let me lay down some advantages for you extreme feminists out there (mostly young students such as myself):

1. If you are a female, simple but true: on most occasions you will get nice gestures from men, they will open doors for you, give you spare change if needed on the bus, or if you’re in an American Rom Com – A Starbucks on them.

2. If you are from London (like myself) you get free entry into clubs almost always. Why? Because you are a woman. (If you don’t live in London, free entry into clubs is gold dust, entry can cost up to ₤40 on a busy night.)

3. You will have drinks bought for you and be complimented – if you’re stupid enough to sleep with them then complain the next day, you didn’t play your cards right.

4. Bouncers will not treat you like something off the bottom of their shoe, even if you’re wasted, (Unless you’re on a night out in Croydon.)

5. You are way more likely to get flowers.

I could name many more, however big or small they are, the bottom line is, is that we, as women get a lot more advantages than men.

Maybe when I’m 40 and have had a family of my own and do not get into Tiger Tiger for free I will have different views. I’ll be angry and bitter whilst sipping on my Earl Grey watching Corrie – but for now I’m just trying to calm all you angry, extreme feminists.

I know I’m most definitely not convincing you, as so far I’ve slated feminism and backed it up with free drinks, but I’m just trying to build a bigger picture here.

If you want to be taken seriously as a feminist, you must actually act as a feminist by definition, not as someone who want’s ‘girl power’ at one point then not the next.

If you want to be successful as a woman you can. Fair enough statistics have shown that there aren’t as many ‘big’ successful female names as there are men’s but it doesn’t mean you, as a female cannot achieve your goals. We aren’t in the 50’s and 60’s anymore.

In your mind, you need to think why are you being a feminist? Is it to get rid of all of those ‘women should be in the kitchen jokes’ on twitter? Lets face it, they’re pretty hilarious and they will pretty much always be there. I retweet them and I’m not ashamed of doing so.

Or is it because you can’t use your female charm and intelligence so instead you channel it through angry dated quotes taken from women over 30 years ago?

I’m not accusing extreme feminists of doing this, I’m just throwing a few suggestions out there. As being a woman myself I use my ‘assets’ (physical and mental) to make sure I’m heard, and to make sure that I succeed in every sense.

If you want to be a housewife that’s perfectly fine, sometimes I wish I had that mentality rather than digging myself into a hole of debt trying to be a journalist.

Educate yourself, have opinions, talk about them, and set goals for yourself.  Have a strong sense of who you are as a woman and I can almost guarantee you that you’ll be treated as equally as you want to be, if not that, admired.

If you want to be taken seriously as a feminist, you need to stop dwelling on the past. The extreme feminism days are over, we are not being suppressed to the point of throwing ourselves in front of horses anymore. Look to the future and push for equal rights as men, I’m not saying forget the past, but it was many years ago, and times have changed.

After this post I’m not even sure I could consider myself as a feminist now, but I do believe in equality and maybe one day our successes won’t be defined by our gender, but by our intelligence.

By segregating ourselves and projecting this image of ‘girl power’ it isn’t enforcing equal rights in the slightest, in fact it’s doing the complete opposite.

Do not blame the modern day man for what happened 30 years ago.

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Claire Stapley

Creator of helpimastudent.com

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