81 Things a Uni Fresher Needs To Know

University, the land of opportunities, alcohol, and hopefully a degree. Every experience is different, enlightening and most definitely considered “life changing” however dramatic that may sound. Here is 81 things a Uni Freshers needs to know.

1. Expensive crockery is a no-no: Ikea is borderline sophisticated when flying the nest and living at a new place. Plates will be broken, you will have lost all your spoons, and your cups will be filled with cigarette butts (even if you don’t smoke).

2. EXTENSION LEADS: lots of them. So many, buy 3,4,5!  They will come in handy when you need every electrical appliance charged or on at once.

3. Your parents become your best friends: who would have guessed? Hearing your mothers voice over the phone telling you how clean the house has been since you left has never been so comforting.

4. You realise the true price of deodorant.

5. And toilet roll: Tesco’s basics may be 64p for 2 rolls, but it just isn’t the same as Andrex Luxury.

6. Your flatmates (if you get along with them) will become your therapists and mothers all at once: Do not fear, your housemate will always be there to order takeaway when you’re feeling sad.

7. You realise how much you took for granted at home, who knew that tumble dryers and wool didn’t go hand in hand until you ruined your favourite jumper.

8. Including cooked meals: After a week of Pizza GoGo and Sainsburys meal deals you realise just how great home cooking was.

9. Going out 4 times a week and turning up to lectures in the same clothes is acceptable, nobody will judge you.

10. You will meet people in freshers who are your best friends for the first week but when you see them out 3 months later it WILL be awkward, especially if drunken kisses were involved: It happens to the worst of us.

11: Takeaway 4 times a week is ALSO acceptable, yet you will complain you have no money.

12: budget, budget, budget.

13: You forget that weed is an illegal substance as every Tom, Dick and Harry is smokin’ it.

14: Finding food that has grown various bodies on it becomes entertaining after a while.

15. Taking out the bins never happens until you get a warning from Halls staff.

16. Netflix takes priority over university work, and well, everything.

17. You stop caring about outfit repeating.

18. You realise after freshers that you have survived one of the most enduring 2 weeks of your entire life.

19. So many sluts.

20. You may be one of them.

21. Twitter becomes the next Gossip Girl.

22. You forgot what fruit and vegetables taste like.

23. You step off your high horse about Aldi, Lidl, Iceland and Wilkinsons, because food never tasted so good from foreign stores.

24. When your first loan comes in you spend it all on clothes and alcohol.

25. The local kebab will begin to know you on a first name basis.

26. Club promotors clog up your feed until you block them.

27. Within the first 2 weeks of uni you’ve never felt so popular with the amount of friend requests that come flooding through.

28. Don’t forget to renew your library books.

29. If you miss a deadline, it’s for real; you’re screwed.

30. Group work is still shit.

31. Your uni friends slowly become better than your old friends.

31. Alcohol tastes better at Uni.

31. You begin to ask every store ‘do you do student discount?’

32. Going home for Christmas and Easter is the perfect opportunity to steal food.

33.  Everybody is a lot nicer at university.

34. But a lot bitchier, too.

35. You have never seen so many illegal substances in your life, you now become desensitised to it.

36. Naps are everything.

37. Snacks are everything.

38. You will either get super slim, or super fat.

39. Pasta is considered all major food groups

40. Overdrafts are the line between starving and eating.

41. You begin to realise that the person making the mess is you.

42. You meet the funniest and most amazing people on nights out.

43. Converse are considered ‘smart wear’ when going out.

44. Haircuts are so expensive.

45. Nails are expensive

46. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO EXPENSIVE

47. Buying your own food is great.

48. Buying brands just isn’t happening.

49. You freeze everything.

50. You begin to call university ‘home’

51. Making the bed is difficult.

52. When a piece of your food disappears from the fridge, it’s world war three.

53. Days melt into each other and before you know it you’ve finished first year.

54. The summer before university is the best summer of your life.

55. Forgetting your student card whilst in McDonalds means you can’t get your free cheeseburger.

56. The first thing you do when you come home for the holidays is check the fridge.

57. You now understand why you could never, ever live at home once you graduate.

58. There is no such thing as ‘I have no money’.. empty the penny jar.

59. Where do all my socks go?

60. Sports socials take projectile vomit to another level.

61. Alcohol fumes during lectures.

62. Missing lectures.

63. Feeling like you’re on holiday.. because you have missed so many lectures.

64. Deadlines are serious this time

65. ” You only have to get 40%” is what you start telling yourself after the first semester

66. Glens Vodka

67. Jaegerbombs mentally scar you every time you drink one as it reminds you of freshers

68. Freshers are the equivalent of year 7’s with large back packs.

69. Second and Third years will consistently tell you how ‘fresh’ you are.

70. Forgetting to call your parents… All the time

71. Snapchat stories explaining your evening to you. 64 people have viewed you making a fool of yourself.

72. Feeling drunk during lectures

73. Nandos taking priority over a sensible food shop.

74. Buy clothes that don’t need to be ironed.

75. Basically, you will never use your iron.

76. Wondering why your mum has stocked you up with enough pasta and rice to feed a colony.

77. Extending your overdraft by another 250 every 3 months starts getting dangerous

78. When exams kick in, you realise that maybe you should have paid attention in lectures

79. Wondering why you’re still in the library at 12.01AM

80. Forget ever buying starbucks coffee again. If you spend 5 pounds on a panini you deserve to be poor.

81. Hearing the word ‘Dissertation’ shouldn’t scare you…yet.

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Claire Stapley

Creator of helpimastudent.com

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